If you read my blog yesterday I think I spoke too soon about how easy it was to shut myself off the social media. Within 24 hours I had the first temptation, which in a way is a good sign. I mean I must be doing something right if there’s temptation.
I received text this morning of good news, my students who sat their iGCSE Maths exam in January achieved A and A*. I’m over the moon for them. I know how hard they’ve worked. And guess what came to my mind first thing, I want the world to know how pleased I am! Facebook, this news must make it to Facebook. I want the world to know that somehow I have contributed to these successes. I had this thought that I don’t get to boast very often so this would be a good opportunity.
It was the scene of weighing between the angel and the devil. A small part of me yearning that recognitions, that acknowledgements, that “very good, well-done”comments, those likes and loves on Facebook. I toyed with the idea to open up Facebook just for this once. I was surprised with myself, how desperate I was for the world to know.
I got to the point of installing Facebook Group app. It’s an app only for the groups you joined on Facebook so you can see group activity and you can still like or comment on posts. One of my student’s parent said she was going to post on our local Enfield Facebook group about her son’s result and to mention me in her post. I thought to myself, at least I was not going to install the actual Facebook app but I can still see what is said about me.
So I installed the app but then immediately uninstalled it. I put the phone away and went to another room to get my self together. There was this pride in me that need to be dealt with. Pride is the beginning of man’s fall. The love and obsession over of one self is often the source of all sorts of miseries. I know that and must not let it takes over my senses.
The whole point of this lent is to center my mind, my act, my prayers to God. If you are not a believer I can understand if you are laughing but here is the core of my Christian belief. There is one living God, and thousands of years ago he came to earth to become a human being, to suffer a punishment that I should have suffered instead for my sins. He died on the cross to redeem my soul. My flesh will still rot away in my grave but my soul is saved. You need to believe in Jesus to be saved though. I, as the redeemed, technically don’t have anything to boast about. Anything I do in this world, I do them for God. I consider life is Christ and death is gain, to borrow apostles Paul’s words. All glory and praises are his.
So, my students got a good grade, I praise the Lord. I thank God for all his helps. For the wisdom and strength and patience he gave me through his Spirit. I couldn’t do it with my own strength.
And now I’ve been faced with temptation, I will be on guard in prayers to look out, there are plenty more coming my way